Morethan50yearsago,thepsychologistCarlRogerssuggestedth...

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More than 50 years ago, the psychologist Carl Rogers suggested that simply loving our children wasn’t enough. We have to love them unconditionally, he said — for who they are, not for what they do. However, we are often given much advice on the opposite --- conditional parenting: turn up the parental love when they’re good, hold it back when they’re not.

A problem with conditional parenting is that it might be just another method of control, in other words, punishment. Roger warned that children were likely not to get the unconditional acceptance and love when it counted in their growth.

In a research done by Edward L. Deci, a leading American expert on the psychology of motivation, more than 100 college students were asked whether the love they had received from their parents had seemed to depend on whether they had succeeded in school, practiced hard for sports, or controlled feelings like anger and fear.

It turned out that children who received conditional love were indeed somewhat more likely to act as the parent wanted. But it came at a high price. First, these children tended to dislike their parents. Second, they admitted that the way they acted often owed more to a “strong internal pressure” than to “a real sense of choice.” Moreover, their happiness after succeeding at something was usually short-lived, and they often felt ashamed.

In practice, Dr. Deci and others suggested that unconditional acceptance by parents as well as teachers should be accompanied by explaining reasons for requests, offering opportunities for the child to take part in making decisions, being encouraging without controlling and actively imagining how things look from the child’s point of view. The last of these features is the most important in unconditional parenting.

29. From the passage we can conclude that _________.

   A. parent love is probably often used to punish our children

   B. unconditional love means that parents have no right to guide their children

   C. unconditional love can allow a child to make decisions all by himself

   D. successful children benefit a lot from conditional parenting

30. From the fourth paragraph, we can see _________.

   A. conditional love is playing a positive role in educating the children

   B. conditional parenting can be harmful to the parent-child relationship

   C. the happiness and joy with success can inspire the children for long

   D. the advantages of conditional parenting overweigh the disadvantages

31. _________ is the most important thing when parents offer unconditional love.

A. Explaining reasons for requests

B. Letting the child take part in decision-making process

C. Being encouraging and without controlling

D. Whether the child feel being loved and accepted

【回答】

ABD

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